i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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