I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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