So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
