Please, let me fuck your mom
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
