before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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