the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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