I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she told me i tasted like america
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
