How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
