she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
