I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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