No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
