your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
