I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
