Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
