i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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