The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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