I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
