I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
