I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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