Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
