I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
