Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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