Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
