god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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