I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
