I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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