Ambien. No doubt about it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
