I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
only you would photoshop your dick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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