My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
