I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
