i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
