Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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