I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
