she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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