I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
