What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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