I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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