I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
