PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
