I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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