I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
