so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
