You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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