dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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