her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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