My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
