i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
