Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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