People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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