why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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