Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
